Disclaimer:The contents of this blog is of humorous, satirical and entertaining nature however, with that being stated let me start by saying that this is a compilation of some of my pet peeves and opinions which may be politically incorrect for some or slightly exaggerated for others but as an American protected under the first amendment of the Constitution here goes my rant, if you are offended or disagree on anything stated within you might want to reconsider which of these categories you may fall under and begin redeeming yourself.
Door Manners:
It is extremely rude and inconsiderate to not hold or thank the person who is holding the door for you unless its your prison warden escorting you out to your execution, other than that any person that takes time to stop reading their texts or sipping their beverage to allow you the courtesy of not having to come out of your inertia deserves a big THANK YOU with a smile and a wink.
Loud Obnoxious Phone Conversations:
Okay okay, you may be a little excited over the fact that you finally found someone to listen on the other end (granted there is someone on the other end) but the rest of us mortals should not be subjected to your barrage of banality often laced with a lack of eloquence, poise and timing, how you think you may have contracted an STD at “that party” or how you think the kid isn't yours should be something between you, your counselor or a Maury Povich casting intern not the rest of the MTA users or Starbucks.
Loud Music in Cars:
Alright so your sound system is state of the art and you know all the words to the song but next time you want to audition for American Idol let it not be at the light, some of us actually have thinking to do and it’s hard to do it on hardcore Rap or Techno.
Denim Overload:
Unless you're on your way to a rodeo show or have been casted as the understudy for “Annie Get Your Gun” please avoid this fashion faux-pas and leave the 70's circa Charlie's Angel look where it ought to be.. in Nostalgia!
Inventing Monikers:
Let me break it to you slowly, unless you're a celebrity and when I mean celebrity I mean one in the entertainment or sports realm much like the Beckhams or the Jolie-Pitts, you really should not venture on the creative name-making machine, in doing so you are making your poor child a likely target for bullies or other playmate's taunts. Remember when you're rich and famous, funny names=Exotic or Cute, when you're an average Joe a funny name = collective laughter at the DMV.
Oh and please don't get me started on generation naming...Joe Schmoe IV, John Doe III etc.., I'm okay with the Sr. and Jr. suffix (why should the son pay for the sins of the Poppa or vice-versa) but if you’re not a Catholic Pope or a member of a royalty, or of a financial dynasty like the Rockefellers or the Whitneys, who the hell cares who your Great Great Grand Daddy was? Like really, “So you come from a long line of pickpocketers? Wanna come over for dinner?"-please uphold lineage only if there is really one that one day may be worth mentioning in a history book.
Quai-Bipolar People:
Okay so let me clarify by saying that I know that Bipolar Disorder is a serious and delicate mental illness that many people suffer from and I respect that but what I’m talking about here are those people that you encounter everywhere from your inner circle, family, friends to outside, work environment or supermarket checkout line.
Those people that you say “Good Morning” to and just keep walking without reciprocating and then later on come over to you and ask to borrow ten bucks as if nothing happened. These people really need a reality check, which I’m often readily available to provide, my comeback for these species is usually providing them with their own dose of medicine, I ignore them when their ties get caught in the shredder machine or they’re in the next bathroom stall and their toilet tissue runs out, aah, you see there’s a lovely thing call Karma, and I know how to use it! (wink , wink).
Bad Attitudes:
My mom always use to say something that I thought was pretty funny yet insightful, she would say, that when people were not aesthetically gifted they should not have bad attitudes because that only made them look uglier than what the good Lord had already intended them to be. So here’s the moral of that story people:
If you are beautiful and mean you’re a BITCH!
If you are ugly and mean you’re an UGLY ASS BITCH!
So people, always remember to smile, even if it’s from the inside, it will do good for your soul and will frighten less children J.
