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Saturday, March 12, 2016

Reality Check.


It's mind boggling to see how Reality TV and pop culture has changed the perspective and thought process of society nowadays.  Now it's more profitable to be infamous than to be famous.  Because to be famous, you actually need a viable medium, you need to have a talent, a skill, a trait, an education or philosophy. To be infamous, you just need to be the worst version of you.  You need to be loud, vulgar and crass. You only need to put out a sex tape, say profanities, get arrested, have a recognizable family name or spew hate 24/7.

 This is why Kylie Jenner garners more attention than Malala, this is why people love to watch a brawl on tv or youtube rather than an inspirational story. This is why now we have an actual TV character, a reality tv celebrity running for the Presidency.
 Like many reality tv competition shows, the worst, loudest and most obnoxious person always stays around because this is the person that is bringing the drama and the ratings ergo the green for the tv networks.
Well this is all well and good from a tv viewer's point of view, and don't get me wrong, reality tv is one of my own guilty pleasures, but just as I watch a Sci Fi movie, I keep them both in my fiction and entertainment section. I don't let them seep into my brain and into my daily life.

 I don't think I'm besties with Taylor Swift if I follow her on Instagram or Twitter nor would I ever thought that Donald Trump could one day possibly be my President. These premises to me would only be SNL material, but now I face the reality, the very sad reality..that we are all living in a bad sitcom. What use to be considered unacceptable, even outrageous is now a possibility.

 We as a country, have now become the biggest and funniest reality TV spectacle to the world!
We are the Kardashians of the World and it ain't pretty. And with the possibility of electing Mr. Trump as Commander in Chief, hell! We got the entire Kardashian klan, not to mentioned the Ku Klax Klan, on celebrity Apprentice!!

 I know, so many shows like Scandal, House of Cards and so many others can portray the White House as quite the fun, intriguing and often adventurous house but we really shouldn't allow it to become the setting of Big Brother either, all pun intended. We need to bring Civics and Cursive writing back into our schools so our kids can see and learn the true and core values of the men and women who fought so hard to get us where we are and to rescue us from where we have now fallen.

 We can't elect people into power based on the size of their fake breast or the size of their bank accounts or on how many buildings they own.   We need to wake up and realize, and let these Reality TV folks know, you're part of my entertainment agenda but you're not my Reality. I didn't expect Fred Flintstone to be my role model or President why on earth do you feel you can? Specially when you don't even bring any sense or actual knowledge to the table.

 I know the media wants us all to believe anything is possible but there are certain things that should remain sacred. You wouldn't take your ill child to a car mechanic, so why would you even consider a TV reality star for President. Yeah he's making it sound all so good for some, especially the poorly educated he adores and I quote, but like Cher's bitch slap to Nicholas Cage in Moonstuck..you need to snap out of it!!  

Remember, Reality isn't Real. Reality is what you see and what you make it to be, Real is what really Is.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Parenting is not for Punks & Wimps.





It's hard enough to watch the news and see all these innocent people, children in its majority dying because of archaic religious and political agendas, but now in our own land, infanticide has become a form of lousy parents to reclaim their so called freedom. From the man that left his toddler roast to death in his car, to the woman who pushes her baby onto a NYC subway platform, (can't think of a most dangerous place for a child to be on his own), to the equally out of shape, overweight parents that were forcing their child to do 100 push ups over and over again in a sadistic fashion while keeping him tied up in their basement. When I see or read this all I can say is WTF America? Like really, WTF is wrong with you? In my humble opinion,  I think people really need to soul search and come to a firm decision when it comes to parenting and bearing a child. Just because you have good productive ovaries and an awesome sperm count doesn't mean the job is for you. Because that's what parenting is, a full time,  lifelong job, a penniless job but if done right, the most rewarding of all tasks in the world. So having said that, the position can definitely not be filled by "punks or wimps", but unfortunately many of these punks and wimps mistakenly, accidentally or romantically think they can. I heard someone once say, "well people who are thinking in becoming parents should first buy a puppy and see how it works out and if they can't handle the care the doggy entails then maybe they should reconsider their parenting options"..well, I think even though at some level of nurturing and responsibility a puppy can be a good introduction to what the parenting world requires I still think caring for a pet is a bad analogy for parenting. You see, a pet can be given away easily or put up for adoption if you have had enough of it, a pet can stay with either party once there's a breakup and the other party is not legally mandated to support the pet, if the pet gets too ill and you decide to euthanize it no one is gonna look at you as a baby killer but instead you will get the full support of a network of pet owners who at some point had to do the same with their beloved pet. Nope people..parenting is not for EVERYONE!


 In a country where we are still debating and fighting over pro choice options where, a group of right wingers will tell you don't you dare end a pregnancy cause you will be going straight to hell but once you do have the baby the same group will turn around and tell you, well now you take care of that bastard you slut, is continuing to perpetuate a state of unwanted,  accidentally conceived babies who unfortunately will be doomed or destined to a life of abuse, neglect and as we see nowadays murder.Lets take the first couple with the dying baby in the car, I personally believe and my innate FBI profiler also known to man as my sixth sense feeling is that both parents were equally involved in this tragic and horrific death.  Here's an all American wholesome looking couple, church going, apparently good parents to the community,  who no doubt had a great level of dysfunction going on behind doors, the guy is sexting women from different sites and the wife is standing by his side even during the outrageous circumstances of the death of her child. I know women, myself included who will be ready to snap someones head off if they forgot the milk in the car and caused it to go bad much less a baby to die. But this upstanding, very religious couple felt that this was a viable way out, not perhaps talking to a priest, or pastor, or therapist or even a kind hearted stranger on the street about the pressures of parenting that obviously they couldn't sustain and be possibly chastised by society for, it was easier for them as religious faithful to break one of the 10 commandments,  one of the main ones I must say and become murders rather than be seen or themselves accept that they were and now forever will be the worst parents that ever lived. And yeah, I know what you're thinking, lets not blame it on society or the government,  these people were just evil, twisted and demented and I agree with you all on that too, but I also feel that people need to learn and be told by their societies, their governments and most importantly their conscious that perhaps parenting is not for them, and if they do accidentally or intentionally venture that road that they can feel free to say "I suck at this and I need help". Family and friends should be helping out, the saying its takes a village to raise a child is not a hollow one.  If you see a family member or friend who is or looks distress over their life specially if there's children involved just don't turn a blind eye and say "oh well, no one told her or him to have kids" see how you if anything can help. We need as a society to start making consciousness and practical decisions when it comes to parenting.  Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Life is ironic, people that shouldn't even have custody of the mice in their buildings can procreate as fast and as much as lets say..mice! And then you have people who really want and can financially and emotionally afford to be parents can't.  But that is life and the world for you, on the meantime I believe we should educate our young generations that becoming parents is not easy and its not mandated if your heart doesn't feel the need, that it doesn't make you a bad or a lesser person but someone in control of their future and life. Because in the end even if biology or the Bible (ironically this is the one text both science and religion agree on) says we are meant to "live, multiply and die" its better to make a sound decision to "live, love and not kill".

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Money Changes Everything.

As I watch the news about both global and domestic events I can't help thinking that Cyndi Lauper had it right when she belted out her famous song "Money Changes Everything", and it does! Money is the root of all evil and the real reason why certain logical and respectable laws and policies can't be implemented at times. Money is the reason why a group of hard headed and intransigent men and women called the NRA is still persistent and as been able to hide under a distorted and selfish interpretation of the Second Amendment of the Bill of Rights, a right that was drafted during times of invasion, colonization and slavery. A right whose original intent and purpose was to arm a militia, not being all these sub-group of rebel wackos like a Timothy McVeigh but that of a group of civilians who can in turn assist the governmental armed forces in case of an attack on the state.

Oh but how this particular right has been milked and misconstrue over money, money which translates into the millions and millions of dollars given to the NRA mostly by gun makers who are afraid of having their products regulated by laws and reforms because bummer alert! That would potentially not only affect their production and distribution but most importantly for them, would be a threat to their pockets and God Forbid that were to happen even if the lives of innocent civilians were at stake.

And here's the thing, I firmly believe in the 2nd amendment as it pertains to the right of defending myself and/or loved ones, specially in the sanctity of my home.
 Heck! I don't like the idea of hunting but if you're ever faced with the danger of confronting a grisly at your porch I say its fair game!

 But to umbrage gun aficionados, hunters and the likes of Nancy Lanza to purchase and possess guns and high powered assault weapons under the pretense that its valid and rightful because of the second amendment is the biggest crock of shit this nation can stand for.

 If we can make laws on the first amendment freedom of speech, where anyone can say what they like as long as they're not committing a hate crime along with their expression, why can't we control and pass laws that restrict and condemned those who commit atrocious crimes like Sandy Hook and Aurora based on the irresponsible and deliberate access to guns in this country?

Sure we can all concede that there are other factors such as mental health and criminal history to be concerned with, but that's precisely why a global security background check is so important, yeah we can all sit around and find 1,010 excuses how this violates my 2nd amendment rights but like a good friend of mine use to say "if my Grandma had wheels she'd be a bicycle", makes sense to me! By installing a better security alarm system doesn't mean that all robbers will be extinguished off the face of the earth, but they're just gonna have a harder time attempting their crime, which can lead to capture and prevention, and wouldn't that be a better picture?

 Why prohibiting access to high powered machine guns manufactured for war, based on the fact that you or people you live with that can have access to said weaponry, have a history of mental health or a criminal history be an infringement on your civil rights?
Would not having a gun under these circumstances be much better than watching the funeral of 26 innocents souls and so many others?

Does it really make you feel like such a big person, an American, that you can own an assault weapon for which you have no need at this time only for the fact that you believe it is your right to own one? Well, go on with your bad self and perpetuate the NRA myth and continue to chew on your beef jerky while you enjoy the latest episode of Honey Boo Boo and and yes! I am making a stereotypical low blow yet mostly accurate remark, however, I can't be completely mad at this less educated market that the NRA and Gun makers feed their pockets from but I am of those educated ones, those in Congress, whose ivy-league educations and common sense should dictate better but are afraid to go against the Machine.

The machine gun that at the end of the barrel is smoking hot not with ammunition but with money they're afraid to lose. Hopefully common sense and the true meaning of the Second Amendment one day will prevail. Till then God help us and bless us all!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

My Rants!

Disclaimer:
The contents of this blog is of humorous, satirical and entertaining nature however, with that being stated let me start by saying that this is a compilation of some of my pet peeves and opinions which may be politically incorrect for some or slightly exaggerated for others but as an American protected under the first amendment of the Constitution here goes my rant, if you are offended or disagree on anything stated within you might want to reconsider which of these categories you may fall under and begin redeeming yourself. 

Door Manners:
It is extremely rude and inconsiderate to not hold or thank the person who is holding the door for you unless its your prison warden escorting you out to your execution, other than that any person that takes time to stop reading their texts or sipping their beverage to allow you the courtesy of not having to come out of your inertia deserves a big THANK YOU with a smile and a wink. 

Loud Obnoxious Phone Conversations:
Okay okay, you may be a little excited over the fact that you finally found someone to  listen on the other end (granted there is someone on the other end) but the rest of us mortals should not be subjected to your barrage of banality often laced with a lack of eloquence, poise and timing, how you think you may have contracted an STD at “that party” or how you think the kid isn't yours should be something between you, your counselor or a Maury Povich casting intern not the rest of the MTA users or Starbucks. 

Loud Music in Cars:               
Alright so your sound system is state of the art and you know all the words to the song but next time you want to audition for American Idol let it not be at the light, some of us actually have thinking to do and it’s hard to do it on hardcore Rap or Techno.                             

Denim Overload:                       
Unless you're on your way to a rodeo show or have been casted as the understudy for “Annie Get Your Gun” please avoid this fashion faux-pas and leave the 70's circa Charlie's Angel look where it ought to be.. in Nostalgia! 

Inventing Monikers: 
Let me break it to you slowly, unless you're a celebrity and when I mean celebrity I mean one in the entertainment or sports realm much like the Beckhams or the Jolie-Pitts, you really should not venture on the creative name-making machine, in doing so you are making your poor child a likely target for bullies or other playmate's taunts. Remember when you're rich and famous, funny names=Exotic or Cute, when you're an average Joe a funny name = collective laughter at the DMV. 

Oh and please don't get me started on generation naming...Joe Schmoe IV, John Doe III etc.., I'm okay with the Sr. and Jr. suffix (why should the son pay for the sins of the Poppa or vice-versa) but if you’re not a Catholic Pope or a member of a royalty, or of a financial dynasty like the Rockefellers or the Whitneys, who the hell cares who your Great Great Grand Daddy was? Like really, “So you come from a long line of pickpocketers? Wanna come over for dinner?"-please uphold lineage only if there is really one that one day may be worth mentioning in a history book.

Quai-Bipolar People:
Okay so let me clarify by saying that I know that Bipolar Disorder is a serious and delicate mental illness that many people suffer from and I respect that but what I’m talking about here are those people that you encounter everywhere from your inner circle, family, friends to outside, work environment or supermarket checkout line.
Those people that you say “Good Morning” to and just keep walking without reciprocating and then later on come over to you and ask to borrow ten bucks as if nothing happened. These people really need a reality check, which I’m often readily available to provide, my comeback for these species is usually providing them with their own dose of medicine, I ignore them when their ties get caught in the shredder machine or they’re in the next bathroom stall and their toilet tissue runs out, aah, you see there’s a lovely thing call Karma, and I know how to use it! (wink , wink).

Bad Attitudes:
My mom always use to say something that I thought was pretty funny yet insightful, she would say, that when people were not aesthetically gifted they should not have bad attitudes because that only made them look uglier than what the good Lord had already intended them to be. So here’s the moral of that story people:

If you are beautiful and mean you’re a BITCH!
If you are ugly and mean you’re an UGLY ASS BITCH!

So people, always remember to smile, even if it’s from the inside, it will do good for your soul and will frighten less children J.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

I Exist therefore I am..I think?


I begin this blog with the distortion of Rene Descartes own famous ponder simply because I felt the urge to capture my own philosophical brainstorming and experiences towards life, specifically my own and see where I stand thus far. When I was in my teens and part of my early adult life I use to question my existentialism, who am I? Why am I here? What's in store for me? But for the most part those lingering questions were usually answered by my mother yelling "who the hell do you think you are? The Queen of England? Well you're not! Now go clean your room!"...umm, the old Dominican Parenting reality check!! Descartes, Socrates et al would have not been able to strive or survive in my household. Later in my college years out in Dominican Republic I began to question my spirituality, I recall that on my first year I struck a conversation with a young handsome kid hanging outside my campus. He had a bald shaven head, attractive wooden bead necklace and bracelet, he wore a white linen tunic which I thought then looked very "indie-chic", he began by asking me if I was happy with myself and with my life? Whoa!! Today I could answer that question so easily and in so many different ways but back then I was just a young high school grad pursuing a higher education for the first time, so my reply was "I guess" with a shrug of shoulders. He proceeded to give me a paper flyer with directions to a temple and a Hindu mantra, he sold me some incense sticks and walked away saying "Hare Krishna Hare Hare". I remember coming home, lighting the incense in my room and reading the flyer with its brief history of the Hare Krishna movement. The smell of the incense went perfect with Joplin's "Me & Bobby McGee" musical background, I think I even memorized and chanted the mantra at times, I had no intentions of shaving my head or giving up my Western world materialistic ways but somehow it felt cool to chant in a different language and not know what the hell I was saying. Well of course my brief encounter into Hindu spiritualism was short lived by my zealot Catholic mother's flare. One day storming into my room and finding a smoking incense stick and the Hare Krishna flyer she accused me of trying to burn down the house and performing witchcraft. Later on I met several people with different and eclectic views on life from every spectrum. Having been brought up Catholic I always had some trouble connecting with those of Agnostic or Atheist thinking. How could one not believe in the existence of a higher being? Somehow I refused to think we were that simple and boring, "C'mon now, there must be something or someone you believe in?" I once asked thus commencing my introduction into to Nietzsche and Freud. A then friend of very nihilistic nature suggested I read.  As I grew older, wiser and less impressionable I became comfortable with the knowledge that the world was my oyster and sometimes I would have to deal with its pearls or slim but either way it was up to me to discern how to deal or overcome its encounters. In a world with so much global stress and uncertainty I have chosen to live it day by day with the firm goal of being a more productive and benign person than I was the day before.  Spiritually and morally speaking I have learned that my body,mind and heart will accept, reject, outgrow or overcome any circumstance or event in due time. Sigmund Freud once described himself as being completely estranged from his father's religion or any other religion but considered himself essentially a Jew by nature with no intentions of altering such nature, from a religious point I believe I do have some Christian tendencies too embedded to be altered as Sigmund stated and I choose to believe in a God, my God, a Supreme Being or force that looks out for me and my family in times of need because the notion of none would be so inconvenient and taxing! But I too can say today that I am essentially a loyal, curious, caring and sometimes dysfunctional individual by nature with no intentions of altering my essence unless of course its for a focus project group that will pay me very well and provide great lodging…hey! I’m still a work in progress and I know I exist because I’ve got bills to pay!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Why when it comes to Sex we are not the Weakest and the Dumbest.

The recent whirlwind of scandalous and media frenzy events have proven to me something that has always been very obviously plausible, that when it comes to sexual power and persuasion we women have the upper hand and smarts that our male counterparts lack. From biblical times, Eve persuading and ultimately convincing Adam to eat the forbidden fruit, Cleopatra seducing and enticing powerful men of her time to shower her with gifts and fight for her affection to Mata Hari, the seductive Dutch exotic dancer/courtesan that harbored many secrets of states due to the many prominent and powerful men in the military and political arena that she would bring to her bed. In the past couple of days we have seen a string of powerful and quasi intelligent men, some even Ivy-leaguers, some sportsmen and some vying for your vote some day. In a short span we have seen all these powerful men, from Elliot Spitzer, Tiger Woods, Jesse James, John Edwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, to most recently Congressman Anthony Weiner all fall victims of what I like to call "Little Head Thinking"  yes, because all of these men in a fraction of time did not stop to consider all the serious consequences that their behaviors would put them in. I was just watching an old rerun of "Sex and the City" where the famous quartet of women were discussing the infidelity of Charlotte's new boyfriend to which Samantha retorted in her usual witty and smoldering tone.."Honey, men cheat for the same reason dogs lick their balls, because they can"..well although I am with Sam on this one I think it's more "because they can't help themselves". I am pretty sure that many of these men can deliver a speech, play an entire tournament or figure out a national budget under a hail of bullets or detonating grenades but if one gal were to flash them unexpectedly they will stumble and lose track of all thought, physical composure and sometimes reasoning. Yeah ladies, we are that powerful specially when the men we encounter are little head thinking. Yes former President Clinton came under fire for his indiscretion, but it was already rumored way back when he was Governor and running for the presidency of all of his frolicking and his womanizing streak, so of course it was logical (at least to him) that if he could get away with it then it would be easier as ruler of the free world and well, the rest is history now. A man that was capable of  commanding an entire country could not foresee a young impressionable intern gabbing off and storing away DNA on a dress from The Gap's sales rack. Former Governor Spitzer was able to fight and conquer Wall Street but needed to be reminded by a young hooker to wear a condom before the party could begin. Pretty politician John Edwards fathered an illegitimate child with his mistress and later tried to vehemently deny it while trying to run for office, umm..denial that can actively and most effectively be proven with a DNA test, oh and if that wasn't enough he also paid his campaign aide to assume the paternity of the lovechild and to run around town along with the man's own wife and the pregnant mistress hiding in hotels while he pursued his political itinerary with his ailing wife on tow. Then we have "The Gobernator" the worst of all in my humble opinion. Like Bill Mahr would say, who knew he was actually such a great actor..the ability to engage and sustain an affair with the help within the premises of his own home and a few feet away from his spouse and children is unbelievable. And although in his case he was able to get away with it for a longer time than his other political peers could, the results and the audacity of his actions could not even been excusable for Conan The Barbarian.

Lastly we have Congressman Weiner, the cyber adulterer. Anthony Weiner one of the most passionate and vocal representatives Democrats have in the house suddenly became the sexually repressed nerdy computer geek with a penchant for social networking and sexting while not even concealing his identity and occupation and sealing the deal by actually tweeting pictures, like seriously?

And that is where all the aforementioned men have gone wrong, thinking that they can get away with it based on the power they have socially,politically and financially.  The women involved in these tryst are usually not their intellectual equal, the realm covers an eclectic mix of interns, domestic workers, prostitutes, porn stars and strippers. Yes probably most of these women can not recite Voltaire or entertain a substantial conversation with their suitors but all that did not matter because at the end of the day, sex was the name of the game, where the smarter became dumber and the inconspicuously harmless object of desire suddenly became the deadly Mantis ripping off their heads along with their careers, dignity, respect and credibility right after the mating has taken place and the news has been leaked to TMZ.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Dating, Mating & Settling


The other night I started watching the new series on VH1 "Single Ladies" a hybrid of "Sex and the City" and "Girlfriends", another attempt to chronicle and capitalize on the modern woman's maidenhood with its struggles, its dilemmas and its many challenges some as dramatic and tragic as a Greek opus and others as comical and outlandish as a Lady Gaga outfit. The truth is that although many of us can relate to the stories portrayed in these shows it’s a very difficult terrain to wage specially in this day and time. Back yonder in the times of our mothers and grandmas marriage was not an option but a necessity, a woman had to secure a provider from a financial standpoint as well as for a "blood line" continuation. The phrase "bare foot and pregnant" meant bliss for many although the actual notion of standing preggers in a kitchen slaving over a hot stove for a man that couldn't even afford you shoes seems ludicrous to me. As with many generations I'm sure some women married off to their high school sweetheart, their beloved soul mate or with that distant cousin twice removed and conveniently available at the time. The rest were left to fend with the stigma of Spinstery which garnished them the option of becoming the grumpy bitter aunt with a fetish for Marlboro Reds and Solitaire or running off to the nearest convent, if no man wanted them at least there was still one man left that would never let them down or turn on them... Jesus! The ultimate redeemer.
Today women still face the same challenges but with different options, options that grant them the choices in the title above of dating, mating or settling. Let's analyze the dating scene back in the day of our female ancestors. They dealt with courtship, a much more attractive and lucrative style, the guy was required to show up with a bouquet of flowers and a box of Bom-Boms before ringing that doorbell, men were expected to impress from the first moment an inkling of interest or attraction was manifested by the damsel of choice, so women would fall for chivalry, attention to detail and Old Spice cologne. Nowadays the scenario is quite different and at times disturbing, for starters men will show up at your door empty handed and asking to use your bathroom (WTH?), they will ask you where you would like to go versus taking the initiative of making a reservation for let’s just say, the sake of an element of surprise and sometimes when you provide them the answer they either don't know what you’re talking about or the idea of eating rolls of raw fish with wooden sticks seems repulsive ergo making Nobu out of the question, so you decide to allow them to impress you with their own selection and insight and somehow you either end up in a loud sports bar or  at Hooters. Normally this modern version of courtship called dating will not end well because its foundation is shaky to begin with, the difference between then and now is that your date back then would've eaten an Eel roll even if he had to fight back his gag reflex just to impress you so. The courtship was about you and all you had to do was show up and look good the rest was covered. Nowadays we so often let dates who are basically just good looking or attractive strangers dictate what is suppose to be our "time", in the midst of our confusion and indecision we fall victim of a tolerance that later on will become annoyance and frustration and possibly warrant the change of your cell phone number.


Moving on to the topic of Mating  again lets time-travel back to the days of our ancestors, mating was normally a duty that was part of the marriage package, procreational mating was so essential that back then many men would leave or divorce their spouses if these could not bore a child because mating more than a nature call was the continuation of a lineage or name, wives were meant to be mothers not lovers.

Fortunately today we have an upper hand on the ladies that came before us, mating is our choice and thanks to feminist and sexual liberation movements we can make the decision of whether we keep the Stallion or dump the Ass (no pun intended).
Speaking of Stallions, I once had a boss who was into horses; he owned his own stable and a couple of thoroughbreds. He told me a story or tale which till this day I don’t know if it’s factual or not as my extent of equine knowledge is limited. He said that Stallions could roam the pastures and mate with different Mares but would always be attached to a “main Mare” whom they would stick by and protect.  He told me about how he would take this one Stallion away from his main Mare to bring into another stable and mate with another Mare and after the mating would take place the horse would neigh and jump up and down until taken back to his four-legged lady love, he cited this anecdote as the prelude to why men could never be integrally faithful creatures but yet sentimentally attached to one person much like the stallion that can easily mate with many different mares but can not spend the night in another stable. It’s nature my dear he said to me, men mate often but women mate stronger!

The truth is that in today’s world mating or sexual relations can take many shapes or forms, that range from genuine love-making to the infamous “booty call” or one night stand. The parties involved in any of the aforementioned dynamics will be the ones to determine the validity or success of this essential part of dating. Many women can look back and name their best lover and the love of their lives, often being both the same person or sometimes not. 


Finally we come to Settling, a term so scary for many and complacent for others. At family gatherings and parties you may hear the nosy relative that yelps out “so when are you settling down?” as if you were some sort of emotionally impaired traveling circus who refuses to nail your carp down and settle with that one clown.  Settling should not be an option but a reward to both men and women. We should be able to settle with that one person that fills our heart and head with all the right feelings and notions, whether we choose to legally wed or simply live in sin with a joint mortgage. What I have learned through out my own experiences is that one should never date, mate or settle with a person that can not appreciate and respect your innate femininity, intellect and body.  At the end of the day it will be your own self-fulfillment as an individual that will complement your success in life, a feeling that not even wild non-monogamous horses can drag out of you.